Most of my life I have been an optimist and have tried to look at the bright side of things, see the glass half full instead of half empty. But there was a point in my life when I became very pessimistic and depressed. It was a dark time in my life. I felt like every one was against me and that I could not trust anyone. My self-esteem hit rock bottom and it was hard to face the world every morning. I became a hermit, only leaving the house to go to work. I won't go into the details of why, but it was a sad few years.
Thankfully, with the help of family, friends, and a doctor's assistance, I was able to recover and start feeling happy again. It was a long struggle and I often relapsed into negative self-talk. not trusting people, and wanting to stay home and lay on the couch. It was a hard battle to fight, but I was lucky to have the support and love to get through that horrible, sad time.
Now, here I sit today feeling blessed way more than I deserve. I have a wonderful husband, who I also feel is my best friend. I have a super group of friends that stretches from the West Coast to the almost East Coast, I have a loving family and family-in-law, and I have 7 sweet kitties who adore me. There are so many little things that I realize or see everyday that just make me smile and feel good inside.
I wanted to share this, not to brag, but to offer hope for anyone who is going through the dark part of their life. There are sayings that start, "You have to hit rock bottom before..." and you can pretty much fill in the blank with anything. I fill that saying in with "...you realize how blessed you are." I think I was meant to go through that horrible time in my life so that I would see the true blessings in my life and appreciate things. I was, and still am a little, a big ole whiner. "It isn't fair that that person has a great big house." "Why can't I get a promotion?" "I hate my job, my life, my car." I was so negative that I could not see the blessings that were in my life.
Now I appreciate so much more because I see all the wonderful things in my life and know that those things can be taken away in an instant. I try very hard to let my loved ones know how I feel about them because you never know when what you say to them will be the last thing you ever get to say to them. I lost my dad 3 1/2 years ago and the last communication to him was an e-mail I had sent him with some pictures of a covered bridge and some pretty Oregon scenery. The e-mail said that I wasn't going to make it home for Christmas that year. But it also said that I loved him and that I thought of him when I took the pictures, which is why I was sending them to him. He passed away the next morning. I could dwell on the fact that the last thing I told him was that I wasn't coming home, but my heart won't let me. I felt so blessed that he had read my e-mail the night before he passed and that he had seen those pictures and that he knew I thought about him daily, even if I didn't see or talk to him every day. Now every time I pass that covered bridge, I smile because I think of my daddy and know that he knew how much I love him.
I hope my point has come through in this blog. Everyone of us is blessed, even in our darkest hours. You have to be able to see that and appreciate that in order to find your true happiness. Don't let your life slip away from you or spend it in a deep, dark hole. Look around you and really take in your blessings. Life is going to throw you heartache and obstacles and stuff that just does not seem fair or things that you don't feel you can handle. It is okay to have a meltdown or just throw your hands up and cry. But after you do that, try to find the positive in the situation. There may not be any, but I can guarantee, there is something or someone in your life that is.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Three Goats
I often travel up and down I-5 on my trek to Eugene and back. It is a beautiful drive and there are lots of things to look at as you travel. There is one spot in particular that I get excited about every time I pass it. There is a hillside between Creswell and Cottage Grove where three wild goats live. I am guessing they are wild. There are only three of them and they live on this hillside that is right above a rock quarry. At least I think it it a quarry. There are several big machines there but I have never actually seen anyone working there.
Anyway...every time I go by there, I get exited about seeing the three goats. Will I see them today? Will they be close? Will they all three be there? It is a highlight to my drive, which otherwise is just an ordinary drive.
I am not sure how the goats wound up there. Maybe they escaped from a nearby farm or were let out to find their own way. Either way, I always light up when I see them up along the hillside. There isn't much grass, but many trees and bushes. There are some areas that are almost all rock. I love to see them climbing up along the rocky areas.
Sometimes there are only two of them, but most of the time you can spot all three of them only a few feet apart. I don't know if they are a family or just hang out together. Whatever they are, they make me smile every time I see them and a little sad if I pass by and don't catch a glimpse of them.
So if you are ever passing between Creswell, OR and Cottage Grove, OR along I-5, look off to the East and you might catch a glimpse of my three goats. I am sure they will make you smile.
Anyway...every time I go by there, I get exited about seeing the three goats. Will I see them today? Will they be close? Will they all three be there? It is a highlight to my drive, which otherwise is just an ordinary drive.
I am not sure how the goats wound up there. Maybe they escaped from a nearby farm or were let out to find their own way. Either way, I always light up when I see them up along the hillside. There isn't much grass, but many trees and bushes. There are some areas that are almost all rock. I love to see them climbing up along the rocky areas.
Sometimes there are only two of them, but most of the time you can spot all three of them only a few feet apart. I don't know if they are a family or just hang out together. Whatever they are, they make me smile every time I see them and a little sad if I pass by and don't catch a glimpse of them.
So if you are ever passing between Creswell, OR and Cottage Grove, OR along I-5, look off to the East and you might catch a glimpse of my three goats. I am sure they will make you smile.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Amazement & Excitement
Yesterday I heard the garbage truck outside, so I looked outside to see which truck it was, recycling or trash. I am not sure why I looked, just curious I guess. What I saw kept me entertained for a few minutes and got me thinking.
Two of the neighborhood boys, ages 6 and 7, were following the truck along the sidewalk. They watched the arm come out, pick up the garbage can, go up and dump the trash, and come back down. Before the truck could put the can down, the two boys ran to the next stop. They continued doing this to every stop down the street and around our cul-de-sac. They were jumping up and down and yelling. They were so excited and amazed at this truck. When they came to my house, I could hear what they were yelling. They were cheering the man working the controls. "Yeah! Grab it! Pick it up! Yay! Dump it! Yay!" My house was the last one the boys followed the truck to and the driver waved good-bye to them with a huge smile on his face as he turned the corner. It appeared he was used to the boys cheering and running ahead of him, but it still brought a smile to his face.
This got me to thinking...why aren't we all following the garbage truck around, cheering him on, and being amazed at how each time the mechanical arm comes out, it grabs the can and thrusts it upward and into the truck without spilling a drop. Why aren't we applauding the garbage man for picking up our trash without making a mess and always leaving the trash can upright? The sad reasoning is because we are adults and we are afraid we might look silly.
In our world today, how often do you see adults amazed or excited about things. And not just adults, but teenagers and preteens as well. It takes a lot to get us excited and amazed nowadays. I think I still have a bit of that childlike mentality in me because I am easily amazed and excitable, but there are times I hold back because I don't want to embarrass myself or those with me. It shouldn't be that way.
Remember when you were little and your uncle or grandpa pulled a quarter from behind your ear or the first time you went to an amusement park or even those first few birthdays. They were all full of excitement and wonder and amazement. I think we should all live that way now. It makes life so much more fun and interesting and enjoyable! Look at things threw the eyes of a child. Experience things as if it is the first time you ever experienced it. Be silly! Laugh!
The times we live in lately are gloom and doom and it is hard to be happy or excited in some instances. But try to get past that. Take back some of that childlike awe and really look at your surroundings. Open your eyes and mind to things you may not have seen before. Become a tourist in your own town. Go out there and be excited and amazed every day! You will live a more enjoyable life and you might make someone's day along the way.
Two of the neighborhood boys, ages 6 and 7, were following the truck along the sidewalk. They watched the arm come out, pick up the garbage can, go up and dump the trash, and come back down. Before the truck could put the can down, the two boys ran to the next stop. They continued doing this to every stop down the street and around our cul-de-sac. They were jumping up and down and yelling. They were so excited and amazed at this truck. When they came to my house, I could hear what they were yelling. They were cheering the man working the controls. "Yeah! Grab it! Pick it up! Yay! Dump it! Yay!" My house was the last one the boys followed the truck to and the driver waved good-bye to them with a huge smile on his face as he turned the corner. It appeared he was used to the boys cheering and running ahead of him, but it still brought a smile to his face.
This got me to thinking...why aren't we all following the garbage truck around, cheering him on, and being amazed at how each time the mechanical arm comes out, it grabs the can and thrusts it upward and into the truck without spilling a drop. Why aren't we applauding the garbage man for picking up our trash without making a mess and always leaving the trash can upright? The sad reasoning is because we are adults and we are afraid we might look silly.
In our world today, how often do you see adults amazed or excited about things. And not just adults, but teenagers and preteens as well. It takes a lot to get us excited and amazed nowadays. I think I still have a bit of that childlike mentality in me because I am easily amazed and excitable, but there are times I hold back because I don't want to embarrass myself or those with me. It shouldn't be that way.
Remember when you were little and your uncle or grandpa pulled a quarter from behind your ear or the first time you went to an amusement park or even those first few birthdays. They were all full of excitement and wonder and amazement. I think we should all live that way now. It makes life so much more fun and interesting and enjoyable! Look at things threw the eyes of a child. Experience things as if it is the first time you ever experienced it. Be silly! Laugh!
The times we live in lately are gloom and doom and it is hard to be happy or excited in some instances. But try to get past that. Take back some of that childlike awe and really look at your surroundings. Open your eyes and mind to things you may not have seen before. Become a tourist in your own town. Go out there and be excited and amazed every day! You will live a more enjoyable life and you might make someone's day along the way.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Unemployment
Well, here I sit in my fifth week of unemployment. It still hasn't hit me that I don't have a job next year because I am used to having the summers off. And thankfully, our insurance will last through the end of August and I am able to draw unemployment. But it is slowly starting to become a reality to me that I will not have a job come September.
I started working when I was fifteen at Family Restaurant in Lafayette, TN and in my entire life I have only been unemployed five times. The first time I was working at a factory in Lafayette, TN called Carter Automotive. I had worked there nine months and my first day on the job, the plant manager told us the plant would be closing within a year. That was my first experience in being laid off. I think I was 22. I immediately found a job at Toshiba in Lebanon, TN, so technically I was only unemployed for a week.
I worked all through college and during my the beginning of my student teaching. I finally had to quit Toshiba. It was too much. I was teaching 7 - 8 hours during the day, working 8 - 12 hours a night, and trying to keep up with all my school work. I moved back in with my parents (for the third time since I had moved out) and finished school. I was 32.
I was unemployed for about two months before I started working at Farrar & Holliman Law Office and then five months later I got a job teaching in the Lebanon Special School District at Byars Dowdy Elementary. During that period of my life, I was actually working three jobs. I taught during the day, worked at Victoria's Secret during the weekend and some weeknights, and cleaned the law office every Friday night.
Around 2004, I met Martin and fell in love and when we decided to get married we had a big decision to make. He lived in Oregon and I lived in Tennessee. Who was going to move? He had Natalie, who had just turned nine. There was no way I could ask him to leave his daughter, so I decided to move to Oregon. I resigned from my teaching position in 2005 and came to Oregon jobless. I was 32.
I didn't work at all for the first three months I was in Oregon and I didn't get a teaching job the first year. I worked a few odd jobs: TJ Maxx, Lexus of Portland, and even tried my hand at being a real estate agent in North Portland. Throughout it all, I missed teaching. Thankfully, I got a call for interviews with the Beaverton School District and was hired at West TV Elementary.
During the end of my first year at West TV, Martin got a job offer in Cottage Grove, OR to work with a couple of his law school friends. We decided to make the move and I resigned from my teaching job in 2007. I was 34. About three weeks after we moved, I got an interview with 4J Eugene School District and was hired at Meadowlark/Buena Vista. I taught there for four years and was laid off June 17, 2011. So here I am, unemployed at 38.
I am hoping that this bought of joblessness is also short lived, but it is kind of scary. This time is different because of the economy and the amount of people who are unemployed at this time. But, I am hopeful and thinking positively that I will find the job that I am meant for. If not, maybe I am meant to work in a different field for a while. I don't know. I am one who believes that everything happens for a reason and that what is meant to be, will be. I am also a very impatient person, so I hope that whatever is meant to be happens soon!
I started working when I was fifteen at Family Restaurant in Lafayette, TN and in my entire life I have only been unemployed five times. The first time I was working at a factory in Lafayette, TN called Carter Automotive. I had worked there nine months and my first day on the job, the plant manager told us the plant would be closing within a year. That was my first experience in being laid off. I think I was 22. I immediately found a job at Toshiba in Lebanon, TN, so technically I was only unemployed for a week.
I worked all through college and during my the beginning of my student teaching. I finally had to quit Toshiba. It was too much. I was teaching 7 - 8 hours during the day, working 8 - 12 hours a night, and trying to keep up with all my school work. I moved back in with my parents (for the third time since I had moved out) and finished school. I was 32.
I was unemployed for about two months before I started working at Farrar & Holliman Law Office and then five months later I got a job teaching in the Lebanon Special School District at Byars Dowdy Elementary. During that period of my life, I was actually working three jobs. I taught during the day, worked at Victoria's Secret during the weekend and some weeknights, and cleaned the law office every Friday night.
Around 2004, I met Martin and fell in love and when we decided to get married we had a big decision to make. He lived in Oregon and I lived in Tennessee. Who was going to move? He had Natalie, who had just turned nine. There was no way I could ask him to leave his daughter, so I decided to move to Oregon. I resigned from my teaching position in 2005 and came to Oregon jobless. I was 32.
I didn't work at all for the first three months I was in Oregon and I didn't get a teaching job the first year. I worked a few odd jobs: TJ Maxx, Lexus of Portland, and even tried my hand at being a real estate agent in North Portland. Throughout it all, I missed teaching. Thankfully, I got a call for interviews with the Beaverton School District and was hired at West TV Elementary.
During the end of my first year at West TV, Martin got a job offer in Cottage Grove, OR to work with a couple of his law school friends. We decided to make the move and I resigned from my teaching job in 2007. I was 34. About three weeks after we moved, I got an interview with 4J Eugene School District and was hired at Meadowlark/Buena Vista. I taught there for four years and was laid off June 17, 2011. So here I am, unemployed at 38.
I am hoping that this bought of joblessness is also short lived, but it is kind of scary. This time is different because of the economy and the amount of people who are unemployed at this time. But, I am hopeful and thinking positively that I will find the job that I am meant for. If not, maybe I am meant to work in a different field for a while. I don't know. I am one who believes that everything happens for a reason and that what is meant to be, will be. I am also a very impatient person, so I hope that whatever is meant to be happens soon!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Reading
I have always enjoyed reading a good book, but have never found the genre that appeals to me the most. Sometimes I like suspense, sometimes a good romance, sometimes books directed a young adults...it all depends on my mood and where I am in my life. Needless to say, it is always hard for me to find a book to read, so I tend to refer to lists of books or a set by one author.
I was reading from Oprah's Book Club list, for a while, and then I got into some really dark books (Middlesex, Beloved, and The Road)so I took a break. Don't get me wrong, they aren't all dark. I truly loved The Good Earth, The Measure of a Man, and Icy Sparks. And I intend on revisiting her list at some point, because I am a list kind of girl.
I tried reading all of the John Grisham books, but they all started to sound the same after a while. Someone in the South committed a wrong-doing and it is up to a lawyer type person to save them. The lawyer finds himself in the process...blah, blah, blah. However, I did enjoy his stray away from lawyer stories in both The Bleachers and Skipping Christmas.
I love reading Nicholas Spark's books, but they too begin to all sound the same. Someone loves someone and there are obstacles and they overcome them, but at a price...blah, blah, blah. He did venture off in the book, Three Weeks With My Brother. That book really makes me want to visit Easter Island, which I am not sure is possible anymore.
I have also read the Harry Potter and The Twilight series. I refused at first, but was drawn in by the movies. I can see why "young adults" fell in love with both series. I could not put them down once I started reading them. Luckily I held off long enough that I did not have to wait for the next one to come out, with the exception of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
I joined a book club, or I should say helped form one with my girlfriends. So far we are on book three. (I am enjoying the reading, I just wish everyone else would finish the books before we met to talk about them.) We started with light reading, Lipstick Jungle. I picked the first one and honestly, the reason I picked it was because it was on sale at Borders for $3.99 and it was written by the author of Sex and the City. It was an okay book. Next we read Best Friends Forever, which was pretty good, too. Both of those were kind of frou-frou books, but the one we are reading now, She's Come Undone, is a bit more dark. I really like the book club thing, because we all have different tastes and it is opening me up to books I may have not read before.
Now we come to today. I went to Borders to spend my gift card before they went out of business. (So sad to hear!) I found a book titled, 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die. I thought to myself, "This book is right up my alley!" It is basically a list of books that 100 plus critics put together. It is split up by century and has a little synopsis of each book. Now, I have no excuse for not finding a good book! Although, my husband suggested I should read all the books on our bookshelves first. He has a lot of sci-fi stuff he wants me to read. I told him I would read it if it was in the book. :)
The first book I will be reading from the 1001 list is Aesop's Fables from 4 BC. I wonder how many of these books I will be able to download for free with iBooks?
I was reading from Oprah's Book Club list, for a while, and then I got into some really dark books (Middlesex, Beloved, and The Road)so I took a break. Don't get me wrong, they aren't all dark. I truly loved The Good Earth, The Measure of a Man, and Icy Sparks. And I intend on revisiting her list at some point, because I am a list kind of girl.
I tried reading all of the John Grisham books, but they all started to sound the same after a while. Someone in the South committed a wrong-doing and it is up to a lawyer type person to save them. The lawyer finds himself in the process...blah, blah, blah. However, I did enjoy his stray away from lawyer stories in both The Bleachers and Skipping Christmas.
I love reading Nicholas Spark's books, but they too begin to all sound the same. Someone loves someone and there are obstacles and they overcome them, but at a price...blah, blah, blah. He did venture off in the book, Three Weeks With My Brother. That book really makes me want to visit Easter Island, which I am not sure is possible anymore.
I have also read the Harry Potter and The Twilight series. I refused at first, but was drawn in by the movies. I can see why "young adults" fell in love with both series. I could not put them down once I started reading them. Luckily I held off long enough that I did not have to wait for the next one to come out, with the exception of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
I joined a book club, or I should say helped form one with my girlfriends. So far we are on book three. (I am enjoying the reading, I just wish everyone else would finish the books before we met to talk about them.) We started with light reading, Lipstick Jungle. I picked the first one and honestly, the reason I picked it was because it was on sale at Borders for $3.99 and it was written by the author of Sex and the City. It was an okay book. Next we read Best Friends Forever, which was pretty good, too. Both of those were kind of frou-frou books, but the one we are reading now, She's Come Undone, is a bit more dark. I really like the book club thing, because we all have different tastes and it is opening me up to books I may have not read before.
Now we come to today. I went to Borders to spend my gift card before they went out of business. (So sad to hear!) I found a book titled, 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die. I thought to myself, "This book is right up my alley!" It is basically a list of books that 100 plus critics put together. It is split up by century and has a little synopsis of each book. Now, I have no excuse for not finding a good book! Although, my husband suggested I should read all the books on our bookshelves first. He has a lot of sci-fi stuff he wants me to read. I told him I would read it if it was in the book. :)
The first book I will be reading from the 1001 list is Aesop's Fables from 4 BC. I wonder how many of these books I will be able to download for free with iBooks?
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Pay per Post
With a hat that size, you will have no trouble.
This is an attempt to make money with my blog. I found this website called Pay per Post that supposedly helps you out by setting you up with businesses to blog for. We shall see.
This is an attempt to make money with my blog. I found this website called Pay per Post that supposedly helps you out by setting you up with businesses to blog for. We shall see.
About Me
I thought I would start off my blog with a few introductions. My name is Tina, named after no one in particular. Although my middle name (Marie) was supposed to be after my maternal grandmother, but turns out isn't. I have been married for a little over 6 years, to my soul-mate, Martin, who I met online through Yahoo messenger. I know what your thinking..."Soul-mate, yeah right." But after a not-so-happy first marriage of 5 years, countless blind dates and set ups, and me making an oath to swear off men, I met my cutie pie online and have been happily in love ever since. I am a step-mother to a beautiful, smart, and talented teenager, Natalie, who is on the verge of getting her driver's license. We have seven, yes, seven cats that we have accumulated through rescues and an unneutered rescue. We live in a small town south of Eugene, Oregon.
I am a physical education teacher and was recently laid off from the Eugene 4J School District in their effort to balance their budget. So I am on the lookout for a new job, which is a weird place for me. I have worked since I was 15 in a variety of careers. I finally found my calling in teaching and have been doing it for 8 years now. I recently received my Masters in Administration, so I am also on the lookout for a job in educational administration.
My interests change daily and I love to follow trends. I am really bad at starting things and then letting them go to the wayside. This is actually my 4th attempt at a blog, so my challenge is to keep this one going. I love to write but seldom do. I have two books started, but alas, never lost interest in them both. They are awaiting completion on the computer.
"Shiny Happy Squirrel" kind of defines me. I am a happy person, 98% of the time. I love shiny things. And I am very much like the dog in "UP!" who in mid-sentence yells, "SQUIRREL!" and then continues his conversation. I also don't want to limit my blog to one topic/subject, so I went with a name that would encompass anything. Hope you enjoy!
I am a physical education teacher and was recently laid off from the Eugene 4J School District in their effort to balance their budget. So I am on the lookout for a new job, which is a weird place for me. I have worked since I was 15 in a variety of careers. I finally found my calling in teaching and have been doing it for 8 years now. I recently received my Masters in Administration, so I am also on the lookout for a job in educational administration.
My interests change daily and I love to follow trends. I am really bad at starting things and then letting them go to the wayside. This is actually my 4th attempt at a blog, so my challenge is to keep this one going. I love to write but seldom do. I have two books started, but alas, never lost interest in them both. They are awaiting completion on the computer.
"Shiny Happy Squirrel" kind of defines me. I am a happy person, 98% of the time. I love shiny things. And I am very much like the dog in "UP!" who in mid-sentence yells, "SQUIRREL!" and then continues his conversation. I also don't want to limit my blog to one topic/subject, so I went with a name that would encompass anything. Hope you enjoy!
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